When rolling out of bed who is on your mind? How do you make your way, when your heart is blind? Everyday I feel so low. The nights go by to slow. Place first trust above and peace in Him you’ll find!
I love the first two lines! And as a whole, this poem sends a great message....kudos! Lines 3, 4 and 5 are good, but would you consider something like: On days when feeling low and nights go by too slow First place your trust in Him and peace you'll find! Or something like that....hey, I just realized this is in a Limerick form......the contents threw me off because Limericks are of humorous nature, dirty, even and satire. These words here of yours are too pretty for the Limerick.
Nice message! I look forward to seeing your work more on King poets and the bulldog....both sites are good to get a broader selection of reviews....after all, beauty is in the eyes and ears of the beholder. ; )
I love the first two lines! And as a whole, this poem sends a great message....kudos!
ReplyDeleteLines 3, 4 and 5 are good, but would you consider something like:
On days when feeling low
and nights go by too slow
First place your trust in Him and peace you'll find!
Or something like that....hey, I just realized this is in a Limerick form......the contents threw me off because Limericks are of humorous nature, dirty, even and satire.
These words here of yours are too pretty for the Limerick.
Nice message! I look forward to seeing your work more on King poets and the bulldog....both sites are good to get a broader selection of reviews....after all, beauty is in the eyes and ears of the beholder. ; )